You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You brought string cheese to the strip club
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
