if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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