but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
