I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
