return my video game
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
