Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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