Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
