Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
my poor anus
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
