you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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