I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
