dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
