What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You don't make any sense
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