We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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