Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
