i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
