Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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