Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
