its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
