Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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