Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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