I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
