You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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