dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Fuck appropriateness.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
