I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
