I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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