i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
