So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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