god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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