i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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