so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
