just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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