Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize