Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
