why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
