I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
