dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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