There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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