Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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