I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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