I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
