So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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