He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Drake has all the answers
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize