He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
