Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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