Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
