You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
