Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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