So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Randomize
