Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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