Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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