Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
