She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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