Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
