He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
