Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
