4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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