i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
