How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
