he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
